Episode 202 of Chef Julian was, of course, lit! It brought up a very good point; which is that women can be just as aggressive, thirsty and predatory as men. This sparked a very interesting conversation between my boyfriend and I. He had a story and to tell and needless to say I was all ears for it. I posted up with my mug pointed to him and said “Now go!”

The following is his experience as told to me, edited for brevity and clarity.

Don’t get me wrong I love women, and I definitely love a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. But let’s be honest there’s a line and women are just a capable of crossing it. Lotion Bae’s behavior towards Julian proves that. She was annoying, creepy, and very presumptive proving that ego is also gender-less. While in a general sense women have an easier time getting laid than men it is often assumed men will take any play that comes their way which is not always the case. Whether it’s choosing to be celibate or just not being into someone men aren’t always DTF. For me it was the latter.

A woman I was acquainted with shows up on my doorstep unannounced after having made her way into town and asks if she can stay at my place for the night. She is a friend of a good friend and I’d hung with her a couple of times (within a group) prior and thought she was cool. It’s late and since according to her she doesn’t have any other arrangements I told her she can stay the night on the couch. I show her where the bathroom is and give her a pillow and blanket and bid her goodnight. Ten minutes later she opens my bedroom door wearing her pjs, short shorts and a tight shirt, and says she’d much rather sleep in my bed with me as she jumps onto my bed and lands with her face inches away from mine. I explain in as nice a way as possible that this is not a good idea. She assures we can simply watch TV and fall asleep, no big deal. Against my better judgment I relent and settle on the opposite side of the bed from her. After an hour of her scooting closer to me and trying to kiss me on my neck and face and me telling her no multiple times I finally yell, “This is NEVER going to happen!” My tone is pretty harsh but I’ve had it and just want her to leave me alone. She walks out of the room calls a friend of hers and leaves. So much for not having any other arrangements *insert endless side eye here*. I won’t even get into how she tells her friends, including our mutual friend, how I tried to smash but couldn’t get it up. See, there goes that whole ego thing.

Real talk if the tables had been turned I’d be the villain considered thirsty and dangerous, and rightfully so. Was she a villain? In this story, as is the case with Lotion Bae, yes she was. Look I don’t begrudge either woman making their attraction known. In fact I can fully appreciate it. What I don’t appreciate is anyone not respecting the boundaries of another regardless if it is a woman doing the pushing.